Papal Bull

That phrase has so many awesome connotations when uttered by a Discordian.

Pope Matthew, Illustrious un-Cabbage; Emperor Fabulous 1, the Maximally Benevolent, Beneficient Protector of Something-or-Another; His Most High President of Vice, the Scourge of Canadian Heretics, the Full-Belly Alchemist Speaking on Condition of Infallibility:

Concerning Frederick Weasley and George Weasely, Wizard Twins.

1. Whereas the Twins (as they shall be hereinafter referred to) are consistently called “trouble-makers”
AND
2. Whereas the Twins have, time after time, laughed in the face of, not only danger, but grevious personal injury and other, traditionally, somber occasions
AND
3. Whereas the Twins, being Fictional Characters are more capable of perfection in mischief
AND
4. Whereas, in light of an oncoming age of darkness and terror, the Twins found advisable the opening of a joke shop

AND

5. Whereas, No list is complete without a fifth entry,

For the above mentioned, and other, unspecified acts:

I, aforementioned Pope, by the powers vested in me by papal dictat of Malaclypse the Younger, do hereby declare Fred and George Weasley, wizards, to be Saints, Lieutenant class.

Enacted Setting Orange, 29th Bureaucracy, YOLD 3173

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